Супружество как точная наука. Ч. 5

O. Henry

THE EXACT SCIENCE OF MATRIMONY

Part 5

Every applicant got a reply from Peters & Tucker informing him that the widow had been deeply impressed by his straightforward and interesting letter and requesting them to write again; stating more particulars; and enclosing photograph if convenient. Peters & Tucker also informed the applicant that their fee for handing over the second letter to their fair client would be $2, enclosed therewith.

There you see the simple beauty of the scheme. About 90 percent of them domestic foreign noblemen raised the price somehow and sent it in. That was all there was to it. Except that me and Andy complained an amount about being put to the trouble of slicing open them envelopes, and taking the money out.

Some few clients called in person. We sent them to Mrs. Trotter and she did the rest; except for three or four who came back to strike us for carfare. After the letters began to get in from the r.f.d. (rural free delivery - бесплатная доставка (почты) в сельскую местность) districts Andy and me were taking in about $200 a day.

One afternoon when we were busiest and I was stuffing the two and ones into cigar boxes and Andy was whistling ‘No Wedding Bells for Her’ - a small slick man drops in and runs his eye over the walls like he was on the trail of a lost Gainsborough painting or two (напал на след пропавшей картины Гейнсборо). As soon as I saw him I felt a glow of pride, because we were running our business on the level.

‘I see you have quite a large mail today,’ says the man.

I reached and got my hat.

‘Come on,’ says I. ‘We’ve been expecting you. I’ll show you the goods. How was Teddy when you left Washington?’

I took him down to the Riverview Hotel and had him shake hands with Mrs. Trotter. Then I showed him her bank book with the $2,000 to her credit.

'It seems to be all right,’ says the Secret Service.

‘It is,’ says I. ‘And if you’re not a married man I’ll leave you to talk a while with the lady. We won’t mention the two dollars.'

‘Thanks,’ says he. ‘If I wasn’t, I might. Good day, Mr. Peters.'