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Супружество как точная наука. Ч. 3

"корыто" - "washtub"
"отлично" - "first rate"
"подходящий" - "feasible"
"похвальный" - "praiseworthy"
"на первый взгляд" - "to the eye"
"сделка" - "deal"
"подсчитывать" - "to compute"
"несправедливый" - "unfair"
"обширный" - "broad"
"пытаться" - "to endeavour"
"завладевать" - "to secure"
"мнимый" - "ostensible"
"туша" - "carcass"
"корыстный" - "mercenary"
"бездельник" - "loafer"
"неудачник" - "failure"
"мошенник" - "swindler"
"презренный" - "contemptible"
"искатель" - "seeker"
"охотиться" - "to prey"
"воздерживаться от" - "to refrain from"
"позорящий" - "opprobrious"
"отвергать" - "to reject"
"негодяй" - "rapscallion"
"пачка" - "bunch"
"центр внимания" - "cynosure"
"заботиться" - "to attend to"
"пылкий" - "ardent"
"собирать" - "to raise"
"ухаживание" - "suit"
"беспокойство" - "inconvenience"
"выгнать" - "to kick out"
"пудра" - "powder"

O.Henry

THE EXACT SCIENCE OF MATRIMONY

PART 3

There was only sixty miles to the little town where she lived, so I jumped out on the I.C. (поезд внутреннего сообщения) and finds her in the same cottage with the same sunflowers and roosters standing on the washtub. Mrs. Trotter fitted our ad first rate except, maybe for beauty and age and property valuation. But she looked feasible and praiseworthy to the eye, and it was a kindness to Zeke's memory to give her the job.

‘Is this an honest deal you are putting on, Mr. Peters,’ she asks me when I tell her what we want.

‘Mrs. Trotter,’ says I, ‘Andy Tucker and I have computed the calculation that 3,000 men in this broad and unfair country will endeavor to secure your fair hand and ostensible money and property through our advertisement. Out of that number something like thirty hundred will expect to give you in exchange, if they should win you, the carcass of a lazy and mercenary loafer, a failure in life, a swindler and contemptible fortune seeker’.

‘Me and Andy,’ says I, ‘propose to teach these preyers upon society a lesson. It was with difficulty,’ says I, ‘that me and Andy could refrain from forming a corporation under the title of the Great Moral and Millennial Malevolent Matrimonial Agency (Великое Моральное и Милосердное Матримониальное агентство). Does that satisfy you?’

‘It does, Mr. Peters,’ says she. ‘I might have known you wouldn't have gone into anything that wasn’t opprobrious. But what will my duties be? Do I have to reject personally these 3,000 rapscallions you speak of, or can I throw them out in bunches?’

‘Your job, Mrs. Trotter,’ says I, ‘will be practically a cynosure. You will live at a quiet hotel and will have no work to do. Andy and I will attend to all the correspondence and business end of it.'

‘Of course,’ says I, ‘some of the more ardent and impetuous suitors who can raise the railroad fare may come to Cairo to personally press their suit or whatever fraction of a suit they may be wearing. In that case you will be probably put to the inconvenience of kicking them out face to face. We will pay you $25 per week and hotel expenses.'

‘Give me five minutes,’ says Mrs. Trotter, ‘to get my powder rag and leave the front door key with a neighbor and you can let my salary begin.'