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The Perils of Obesity

"опасность" - "peril"
"ожирение" - "obesity"
"ружье" - "gun"
"взрываться" - "to explode"
"заряженный" - "loaded"
"нажимать" - "to press"
"спусковой крючок" - "trigger"
"откалывать" - "to chip"
"кусок" - "fragment"
"фигура" - "figure"
"и все такое прочее" - "and all that"
"толстый" - "fat"

Col. D. Streamer

The Perils of Obesity

Yesterday my gun exploded

When I thought it wasn't loaded;

Near my wife I pressed the trigger,

Chipped a fragment off her figure;

'Course I'm sorry, and all that,

But she shouldn't be so fat.