Супружество как точная наука. Ч. 2

уровень: сложный, раздел: книги

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Словарный запас

Шаг 2
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Словарный запас

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O. Henry

THE EXACT SCIENCE OF MATRIMONY

PART 2

‘So far, so pernicious,’ says I, when we had finished the literary concoction. ‘And now,'’says I, ‘where is the lady. ’ ‘Andy gives me one of his looks of calm irritation. ’Jeff,’ says he, ‘I thought you had lost them ideas of realism in your art. Why should there be a lady? When they sell a lot of watered stock (подмоченные акции) on Wall Street would you expect to find a mermaid in it? What has a matrimonial ad got to do with a lady?

‘Now listen,’ says I. ‘You know my rule, Andy, that in all my illegitimate inroads against the legal letter of the law the article sold must be existent, visible, producible. In that way and by a careful study of city ordinances and train schedules I have kept out of all trouble with the police that a five dollar bill and a cigar could not square. Now, to work this scheme we’ve got to be able to produce bodily a charming widow or its equivalent with or without the beauty, hereditaments and appurtenances set forth in the catalogue and writ (уст. от write) of errors, or hereafter be held by a justice of the peace.

‘Well,’ says Andy, reconstructing his mind, ‘maybe it would be safer in case the post office or the peace commission (судебное ведомство) should try to investigate our agency. But where, he says, ‘could you hope to find a widow who would waste time on a matrimonial scheme that had no matrimony in it?’

‘I told Andy that I thought I knew of the exact party. An old friend of mine, Zeke Trotter, who used to draw soda water and teeth in a tent show, had made his wife a widow a year before by drinking some dyspepsia cure of the old doctor's instead of the liniment that he always got boozed up on. I used to stop at their house often, and I thought we could get her to work with us.

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